Thursday, November 12, 2026

You fix the same problem for the third time this year. Here's why most SME "lessons learned" evaporate — and the 70-20-10 rule that makes them stick instead.

Last updated 15 November 2026. Published by Simple-Growth (Motherbase Limited). Market: New Zealand.

This is a story about an owner who wants to finally let go of the big stuff — but who can't quite bring themselves to hand it to the team, because half of them drain the energy out of the room and the other half just haven't earned that kind of trust yet. You tell yourself it's a hiring problem. Sometimes it is. More often, it's that nobody on the team has ever actually seen you admit you don't have it all figured out — so why would they risk admitting it either?

The Enemy Is A Team That Performs Confidence Instead Of Trusting Each Other

Patrick Lencioni's work on team dysfunction starts in one deliberately uncomfortable place: before a team can disagree productively, commit properly or hold each other accountable, somebody has to go first and admit a weakness, a mistake or a thing they genuinely don't know. Without that, meetings stay polite, real problems stay unsaid, and the owner ends up carrying every hard call alone — not because the team can't help, but because nobody's ever shown them it's safe to try.

Trust Starts With The Owner Going First

Vulnerability-based trust isn't a soft add-on to a performance culture — Lencioni frames it as the foundation underneath everything else a team is supposed to do well.

  • Name a real weakness out loud — not a humble-brag disguised as one, an actual gap you haven't solved yet.
  • Ask for help on something specific, publicly, rather than quietly working around the gap yourself.
  • Let a mistake be visible instead of managed away before anyone notices it happened.
  • Reward the team member who admits a problem early — not the one who hides it longest and hopes it resolves itself.

Kevin's own line to every client sets the tone he's asking owners to set with their teams: across nine companies founded or co-founded, some have been genuine successes and some have been genuine failures, and his job isn't just to help a business grow — it's to help the owner avoid the mistakes he's already made. That's not a credentials statement. It's the same move he's asking owners to make with their own people: go first, name what actually went wrong, and let that be the thing that earns trust, instead of a track record with all the rough edges quietly sanded off.

"Talking with Kevin the first time was so valuable and we were learning so much. Within an hour Kevin had us thinking about our business and our goals in a totally different way. In fact we were supposed to be catching a flight but we decided it was more important that we continued the meeting with Kevin."

Angus & Cameron
Flatpack Co

Why Owners Keep Carrying It Alone Anyway

Admitting you don't have it figured out feels like it undermines your authority, when in most teams it's actually the thing that finally gives someone else permission to step up. This isn't for you if your team already challenges you openly and you trust them with the decisions that actually matter — some owners have built exactly that, and it's usually because they went first. It's for the owner still performing certainty in every meeting, while quietly deciding everything important alone after everyone's gone home.

You don't have to trust the whole team with everything tomorrow. You just have to be the first one in the room who's honest about what you don't know — and watch what that actually earns you.

Key Takeaways

  • Recognise that vulnerability-based trust, per Patrick Lencioni, is the foundation a team needs before it can genuinely take weight off you.
  • Go first. Name a real weakness or an unsolved gap before expecting your team to take that risk themselves.
  • Let mistakes surface early and reward the person who flags one, rather than the one who hides it longest.
  • Remember that even nine companies founded and real successes don't erase real failures — the honesty about both is what builds trust, not a polished record.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is vulnerability-based trust?

A concept from Patrick Lencioni's work on team dynamics, describing the trust that forms when team members are willing to admit weaknesses, mistakes and gaps openly — the foundation underneath healthy conflict, real commitment and genuine accountability on a team.

How do I start building this with my team if I never have before?

Start small and start with yourself — name one real, specific gap in a regular team meeting and ask for help with it. The first instance usually feels exposing; it's also almost always the one that gives everyone else permission to do the same.

Will admitting weakness make my team lose confidence in me?

Rarely, when it's specific and followed by action. What erodes confidence is a team quietly sensing something's wrong while the owner insists everything's fine — the gap between the performance and the reality is what actually costs trust.

If you're still carrying every hard call alone, that's the trust worth building first.

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